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Creativity and Diversity Will Revamp Skateboard Videos

Why re-invent the wheel to make skateboard videos more engaging?

January 24, 2009

Let's get this out of the way right at the start. The internet has not killed the viability of DVD, most notably, skateboard DVDs. Watching tiny video windows on YouTube-like sites bares no comparison to watching on an HD (or any type) TV set. Just because it's free to watch videos on the internet, doesn't make them better. Skateboard DVDs are pretty inexpensive compared to the quality you get and all the extra bonus footage.

For me, regardless how good the footage is, a skateboard DVD has to offer more than just rider-parts strung together. Movies should emote feeling and stoke your mood. They should reach out to you and make you want to go skate. Sure good footy does that, but I want more. Look at the recent Lakai videos like, Fully Flared or Nike's Nothing But The Truth. Both offer a lot more than skate parts and they do so with a lot of creativity.

Many skate videos have become formulaic and don't break any new ground from what is commonly expected or anticipated. Perhaps this is to cut costs and just get out the important part - the skating. All the same, this seems to make many worthy videos generic and doesn't let them stand out among all the others. This is a frustration that has effected many genres of film. How many countless sequels are there that suck so much you have to wonder how they got funding in the first place?

Skateboard Videos and Pornography

Yeah, there is really a porn correlation here.

Remember back in the early 1980's when porn movies has plots (The 70's too)? OK, maybe you weren't born yet, but pornos actually had plots. They weren't very good plots and none of the "actresses" could act, but it added an extra element to the movie itself. Who could forget Amber Lynn in Miami Spice? She was no Sonny Crockett, but that was kind of the point. Anyway... these flicks weren't just slam-after-slam strung together. There was humor and a nominal (forgettable) plot.

Today, mass-market porn has sunk to simply stringing together sex scenes into a suitable length film. I'm sure there are those who are happy not to have to fast-forward to the "good" parts, but something valuable is lost when creativity is sacrificed to formulate a mainstream commodity. On the other hand Jules Jordan is keeping things interesting with his unique style of hardcore.

Remember the Bones Brigade days and the impact Stacy Peralta had on the birth of skate videos? Well, that's the sort of injection that skate videos need today. They need someone to dole out a creative jolt to the normal routine. Lets take a look at what some porn geniuses have come up with.

Swirlie Girls -and- Ass Smoothies

These two sites have taken the mundane and literally poured new life into it. After suffering through one "stuffing" here and a "penetration" there, we deserve an uplifting break - someone to whisk us away with a twist. You don't have to reinvent the wheel to be creative. Sometimes it's as simple as looking at something from a new or different perspective.

Swirlie Girls
Over at Swirlie Girl's headquarters (seemingly some guy's apartment bathroom) we get the standard naked chick with a twist. The model is removed from the scenic beach, she's not lounging in a lush sofa - she's in a bathroom. She does a standard pose by the toilet then during oral sex she gets her head pushed into the bowl and emerges dripping wet and ready to take the money-shot.

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These guys have taken the standard "naked chick" scenario and placed it in a new surrounding - the bathroom. Sure this borders on fetish and these aren't the sort of photos that one would use on a Christmas card, but simply changing the room in which a model is photographed adds an entirely new dimension to it. In my book, that's pretty damn creative. I'm not suggesting that skaters could bolster their public exposure by skating an empty toilet, but if you put the same skater in a different scenario, you may wind up with something unique and different.

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Think about Cairo Foster's handstand hand rail grind that he landed on his feet in Krux's skate video, Feeling It. It was shot using cables and a green screen, but the shot is hella-cool. That's the sort of creativity that can enter into a skateboard video and make it come alive in new ways.

The "hidden" crane used to suddenly yank skaters into the air off their boards was a cool idea from Enjoi's Bag Of Suck skate video. Even Almost's Cheese & Crackers skate video had that crazy mini ramp they kept adding stuff to. The more junk they tacked on, the wilder the tricks got. Very innovative!

Ass Smoothie Girls
The folks behind brainchild "Ass Smoothie" have elevated the classic frozen drink to bold heights of depravity. They find a random girl and ask her if she'd like to make a smoothie. Further along in the process they explain that the smoothie will be poured into her ass, then pushed out into a glass, at which point she must drink it. Apparently some of the girls say NO. Who'd have thought it. All the same, this is a great twist on the pervasive anal fetish that has bolstered porn sales lately.

We had to do a little creative editing of the photos to demonstrate the full genius behind their idea. Available in photos and videos you can watch these gals mix smoothies and some balk at the butt-mix idea and run away. Cool.

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I'm not suggesting that skaters begin slurping down frosty drinks from their asses, but the ingenuity behind Ass Smoothies is taking something as mundane as making a drink and adding a porn element to it. Lots of porno shoots occur in kitchen settings for that "home" look, but how many of them take drink preparation to this height?

See, they didn't reinvent the wheel. They simply found an erotic (or hyper-hardcore) way to make a drink.

Mix the ingredients. Pour into an available asshole. Enjoy a fresh frozen butt-drink.

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Skate Hard!

No pun intended... Have we learned our lesson? No, don't shove your head in the can and drink from your butt. Instead, take a look at what you love about skateboarding and see how those elements could be transposed to another location, setting or backdrop to change up the conventional way things are seen.

Porn wouldn't be the first learning tool of choice (OK, maybe it would) but we want to encourage skateboard filmers, directors and editors to take a fresh new look at skateboarding and see how it can be portrayed in an innovative new way. Generally speaking, the simpler the idea, the better.

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