Skateboarding Articles
$7,000: Build a half Pipe or Buy a RealDoll?
We presume you're familiar with skateboard half pipes and the joy they can bring when you have one in your own backyard. You may not be familiar with RealDolls (if not, you probably don't want a silicone sex-slave in your backyard). RealDolls are similar to the age-old "blow-up doll". However, a blow-up doll doesn't resemble a real woman no matter how much you drink. RealDolls, on the other hand, look surprisingly realistic until you touch one and see that "she" is ice cold - no body heat.
If you've never seen a RealDoll, do yourself a favor and take a look at the RealDoll website.
Dollar for dollar the price of a 6x20-foot high half pipe is nearly identical to the cost of a RealDoll.
Lets say you're a single guy with $7,000 to blow. Sounds good, right? But how should you spend it? We examine these two possibilities and weigh the pros and cons of each.
HALF PIPE |
REALDOLL |
 |
 |
$7,000 |
Cost |
$7,000 |
6' high, 8' wide, 20' long |
Measurements |
5' 7" high, 36C-24-34 |
4x4's, 2x4's, 4x8 plywood, Skatelite exterior |
Materials |
Steel skeleton, silicone exterior |
Skatelite must be periodically replaced. Cover during heavy rain or snow. |
Maintenance |
Silicone can be delicate. She must be moved around with care. |
Suitable for skateboards and BMX - no fruit-boots. |
Ride-ability |
Can be ridden by maximum of three people at once. |
Best used during warm dry times. |
Seasonality |
Can be enjoyed 24/7, all year long. |
10 - Awesome! |
Fun Factor |
10 - Awesome! |
Roll-out decks |
Extras |
An anal opening |
Built on-site. No shipping. |
Shipping |
Factory built and shipped via ground. |
Encourages loud noise that may annoy neighbors. |
Noise |
Silent. Far less whiny and demanding than your last girlfriend. |
Can not be moved. |
Storage |
Shipped in a storage box or easily stuffed in a closet when Mom visits. |
˜ 1,500 Pounds |
Weight |
˜ 110 pounds. |
When you weigh out the options, maybe you really need a girlfriend who skates.
We presume you're familiar with skateboard half pipes and the joy they can bring when you have one in your own backyard. You may not be familiar with RealDolls (if not, you probably don't want a silicone sex-slave in your fucking backyard). RealDolls are similar to the age-old "blow-up doll". However, a blow-up doll doesn't resemble a real woman no matter how much you drink. RealDolls, on the other hand, look surprisingly realistic until you touch one and see that "she" is ice cold - no body heat.
If you've never seen a RealDoll, do yourself a fucking favor and take a look at the RealDoll website.
Dollar for dollar the price of a 6x20-foot high half pipe is nearly identical to the cost of a fucking RealDoll.
Lets say you're a single guy with $7,000 to blow. Sounds fucking good, right? But how should you spend it? We examine these two possibilities and weigh the pros and cons of each.
HALF PIPE |
REALDOLL |
 |
 |
$7,000 |
Cost |
$7,000 |
6' high, 8' wide, 20' long |
Measurements |
5' 7" high, 36C-24-36 |
4x4's, 2x4's, 4x8 plywood, Skatelite exterior |
Materials |
Steel skeleton, supple silicone exterior |
Skatelite must be periodically replaced. Cover during heavy rain or snow. |
Maintenance |
Silicone can be delicate. She must be moved around with care. |
Suitable for skateboards and BMX - no fruit-boots. |
Ride-ability |
Can be ridden by maximum of three people at once - if that's your kind of thing. |
Best used during warm dry times. |
Seasonality |
Can be fucked 24/7, all year long. |
10 - Awesome! |
Fun Factor |
10 - Fucking awesome! |
Roll-out decks |
Extras |
An anal opening |
Built on-site. No shipping. |
Shipping |
Factory built and shipped via ground. |
Encourages loud noise that may annoy neighbors. |
Noise |
Silent. Far less whiny and demanding than your last fucking girlfriend. |
Can not be moved. |
Storage |
Shipped in a storage box or easily stuffed in a closet when Mom visits. |
˜ 1,500 Pounds |
Weight |
˜ 110 pounds. |
When you weigh out the options, maybe you really need a girlfriend who fucking skates.
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