Skateboarding Reviews - Videos & DVDs
Skateboarding DVD Video Review:Skate Maps - Season One, Vol. 1 (Episodes 1 & 2)
Director:
Released: 2004
Rating: 2 Stars
Staring:
The Zoo York Sk8 Team: Harold Hunter, Zered Basset, Jefferson Pang, Forrest Kirby, Brian Brown, Robert Lopez Mont, Aquil Brathwaite.
Lets begin by stating that Zoo York is a cool brand, laden with talented skaters and a dominant force on the East coast and the global sk8 industry, but... This reality series sucks. It's barren of reality and short on skating. These are two things that a skateboarding reality show should contain.
Episode 1
Both Zared and Forest show up with their hair in corn rows. Unless you're a 12-year old girl on vacation with your parents in the Caribbean, you should not have corn rows. Most specifically, skinny white guys should avoid that look. Get real! Forrest lost his hair style first. This is the sort of reality we are treated to. Just wait until Forrest starts scamming chicks for dates...
The team heads to Cologne Germany which forces them into an 8-hour plane trip. We are treated to plenty of airport interviews before they board the plane and start drinking. Upon arrival they settle into the hotel and then head for Kölner Dom - a legendary skate spot - despite being one of the largest cathedrals in the world. For unknown reasons, skaters are not ejected from the plaza surrounding the cathedral. The benches, ledges and surfaces are all smooth marble. A skater's dream in some ways. Who wouldn't want such a surface to ride?
The Cologne Cathedral (German: Kölner Dom) is one of the best-known architectural monuments in Germany and has been Cologne's most famous landmark since its completion in the late 19th century. The cathedral is under the administration of the Roman Catholic Church (but actually belongs to itself) and is the seat of the Archbishop of Cologne. Cologne Cathedral is the church with the largest facade (the west or main facade with the twin towers) and remains the second-tallest Gothic structure in the world; only the steeple of the Ulm Münster is higher.
A local guide brings the team to the Lufthansa headquarters for a session. They were promptly thrown out. Next Harold starts bitching about his per diem - aka the amount of money he is alloted for food each day. He claims he requires 50 per day. Including alcohol, I'd imagine he would, but booze isn't part of the per diem strategy. Get drunk on your own dollar, d00d.
Episode 2
Still in Cologne Germany, the team goes to a well known spot with a 13-stair set. Of the many attempts and failures, Zared manages to garner a hospital visit to tend to his tweaked ankle.
They meet up with Brian Brown at a trade show in Munich. Here they ride a mini ramp set up outside the show. You may want to watch this segment over and over a few times just to remind yourself that you did see SOME actual skating in this episode.
Stud, Forrest Kirby, takes to the night streets in search of a girlfriend. Despite the language barrier, microphone and camera crew, he gets some chick to kiss him. Prior to this weak accomplishment, he is shot down by virtually every girl who passes by. He begins by stating he'll only hit on"hot" girls, but his standards - if he actually had any - seem to fall off quite quickly. There's a dose of reality.
The Munich Ledges were the next spot on the agenda. They are well laid out and extremely skateable. As it turns out, they were designed by an architect that used to skate. Imagine the possibilities of being an architect and secretly designing outdoor urban areas to be skate-friendly - a mission in the making.
Lets begin by stating that Zoo York is a cool fucking brand, laden with talented skaters and a dominant force on the East coast and the global sk8 industry, but... This reality series sucks. It's barren of reality and short on skating. These are two things that a skateboarding reality show should fucking contain.
Episode 1
Both Zared and Forest show up with their hair in fucking corn rows. Unless you're a 12-year old girl on vacation with your parents in the fucking Caribbean, you should not have corn rows. Most specifically, skinny white guys should avoid that look. Get real! Forrest lost his hair style first. This is the sort of fucking reality we are treated to. Just wait until Forrest starts scamming chicks for dates...
The team heads to Cologne Germany which forces them into an 8-hour plane trip. We are treated to plenty of airport interviews before they board the plane and start drinking. Upon arrival they settle into the hotel and then head for Kölner Dom - a legendary skate spot - despite being one of the largest fucking cathedrals in the world. For unknown reasons, skaters are not ejected from the plaza surrounding the cathedral. The benches, ledges and surfaces are all smooth marble. A skater's fucking dream in some ways. Who wouldn't want such a surface to ride?
The Cologne Cathedral (German: Kölner Dom) is one of the best-known architectural monuments in Germany and has been Cologne's most famous landmark since its completion in the late 19th century. The cathedral is under the administration of the fucking Roman Catholic Church (but actually belongs to itself) and is the seat of the Archbishop of Cologne. Cologne Cathedral is the church with the largest facade (the west or main facade with the twin towers) and remains the second-tallest Gothic structure in the world; only the steeple of the Ulm Münster is higher.
A local guide brings the team to the Lufthansa headquarters for a session. They were promptly thrown out. Next Harold starts bitching about his fucking per diem - aka the amount of money he is alloted for food each day. He claims he requires 50 per day. Including alcohol, I'd imagine he would, but booze isn't part of the per diem strategy. Get drunk on your own fucking dollar, d00d.
Episode 2
Still in Cologne Germany, the team goes to a well known spot with a 13-stair set. Of the many attempts and failures, Zared manages to garner a hospital visit to tend to his tweaked ankle.
They meet up with Brian Brown at a trade show in Munich. Here they ride a mini ramp set up outside the show. You may want to watch this segment over and over a few times just to remind yourself that you did see SOME actual skating in this fucking episode.
Stud, Forrest Kirby, takes to the night streets in search of a girlfriend. Despite the language barrier, microphone and camera crew, he gets some chick to kiss him. Prior to this weak accomplishment, he is shot down by virtually every fucking girl who passes by. He begins by stating he'll only hit on"hot" girls, but his standards - if he fucking had any - seem to fall off quite quickly. There's a dose of reality.
The Munich Ledges were the next spot on the agenda. They are well laid out and extremely skateable. As it turns out, they were designed by an architect that used to skate. Imagine the possibilities of being an architect and secretly designing outdoor urban areas to be skate-friendly - a fucking mission in the making.
Bonus Stuff
- Harold
- Girls
- In Your Face
- Tricks
- Wipeouts
The Bottom Line
Rent it to see Harold Hunter and his awesome antics.
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